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What the hell’s that noise? I thought to myself, as the tumble dryer made a weird clunking noise not heard since I accidentally washed and then dried a pair of wireless earbuds in the pocket of a pair of shorts - which still work perfectly.

So I opened the door to be met with a hysterical yeowl that sounded like “Charlie says” in an early 1970s public information film as it turned out one of our cats, Mr Robbie, had climbed in for a snooze after I left the dryer door open when I took the dog for a walk, then shut it and pressed the go button when we got back.

The cat was fine, if a little shaken up by his 60 second ride on the waltzers. He came out smelling vaguely of washing powder and fabric conditioner and looking like one of those fluffy blow-dried cows you see in memes. He legged it upstairs to his dish to do some stress eating and was pretty much fine a few minutes later.

Apparently this has happened before, Six Dinner Sid (who has at least three homes on our street that we know about) once went for a quick accidental spin in the days when daughter #1 lived here.

The cat was left in shock after doing a few turns in the tumble dryer

It turns out cats get pretty spooked by being rolled around and around in the dark. So like we’re told to check for hedgehogs before lighting 20ft community bonfires, make sure your cat hasn’t crawled into your dryer full of half dried warm T-shirts, boxer shorts and socks before setting it to “cupboard dry” and wandering off for an hour.

That wasn’t the only shock in our house last weekend. Just after Mr Robbie’s quick spin, daughter #1 texted the family group chat to say, “You’ll never believe what me and my boyfriend have just done.”

Dear reader, I’m not ashamed to say I almost soiled myself on reading that. All I could think of was, “Please God don’t say you’re pregnant. Please God don’t say you’re getting married.”

Thankfully not. But they’d tied the knot alright, around each other before doing a bungee jump together off a crane that one of their friends had videoed and she posted in the family group chat. All you can hear is daughter #1 screaming her head off in terror/exhilaration as they bounce for the first time, and then again.

To me, that’s about as much fun as redundancy. The bungee operators would have to pay me at least a thousand times what it costs to dive off a 100ft platform with only a length of elastic between you and certain death.

Who's The Daddy: Spinning into the weekend with one shock after another